mY sToRy, a dReAm...

When Reality Takes Over...

2011-02-24T00:02:00.002+08:00

This is as the title says, how reality has taken over my dreams. I wanted to share this story with so many people but it may just end up only boring them, so here i am. My dream was to become a film-maker but as reality would have it, my dreams are put on hold for now, for long? I'm unsure... I've thought long and hard, even had many sleepless nights over this, but even the circumstances i'm in right now be it my family, finances or me. It would be best for me to take up the SIM management course as it is the fastest and best route for me to achieve a degree ASAP. But this does not mean i've given up on filming. Not just yet, its just that they are put on hold, through this path i hope to still find a way back to filming. I'll be applying for this course tomorrow and if i get in, I will gun for it. I will give it my all, it's a promise I've made to myself, that if I ever get the chance to study again. I'll give it my all regardless what course of studies I'm pursuing, so here is a message to myself in 15 months of this course that is to come:

"I believe I don't have to tell you this but you've always wanted to prove yourself, to everyone that you have what it takes. Nows your chance to shine, you have gone through so many things, learnt so many, seen so many, that young immature boy has begun to shed its shell. Through this course, by proving yourself, by striving, by working hard you shall complete this metamorphosis and become the man you've can be and always wanted to be."

But to my dreams, i've not given up on you just yet. You have been something that I have looked forward to for nearly 6 years of my life. This was a decision that i believe is going to be a big turning point in my life. Either I have to hit the sacks soon if not I might just end up botching things up again if i oversleep.

what do you do???

2011-02-03T03:03:00.002+08:00

Question. What does a person do when he is heads over heels for someone? Do you?

A) Ask a her a send her a sms or talk to on msn and countdown the seconds it takes for her to reply?

B) Think about her every second of the day.

C) You get sad, not angry, when she doesn't reply you.

D) You think you are going crazy just because of her.

Ans: If its all of the above, then yes you are definitely heads over heels for her.

Like I've said time and time again. I think i'm seriously going crazy. I'm trying really hard to keep cool here. I'm losing my mind they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but its just making me crazy right now. Its CNY already. I've tried to resist talking to her. But in less than week I've lost control. I gave in to the fondness. Right now, she's barely replying my messages, I want to ask her for the reason why? Was it something wrong I did? Did I already gave the game away? I don't know, all i know is that i'm losing my mind and she seems to be the only cure. To be truthful, I don't even want a reason, I just want her to start talking to me again.

( Okay.. Thats enough fussing crazy man.. Time to get back to reality..)

2007-09-12T00:14:00.000+08:00

nothing much to post just my script...

THE RED BRIDGE

-Scene 1-

FADE IN:

EXT. RED BRIDGE DAY

A group of students are having a meeting at the Red Bridge.

They are scouting the Red Bridge as a potential film

location to enter a film-making competition.

-Scene 2-

EXT. SCHOOL GATE DAY

The meeting has ended and the group is about to reach Dover

MRT station. Guy realizes his mobile phone is missing. He

tells the group to leave first, and he proceeds to backtrack

his way back to the Red Bridge.

EXT. T20 STUDY CORNER NIGHT

Guy slowly backtracks his way back to the Red Bridge,

looking for his mobile phone.

-Scene 3-

EXT. RED BRIDGE NIGHT

He arrives at the Red Bridge and finds his mobile phone

lying on the ground, where they had originally sat at.

After picking up his phone, he hears another ring tone, and looks

around for it. He finds an old mobile phone lying on the

middle of the Red Bridge.

He bends down to pick up the mobile phone, and as he stands

up, the camera shows a girl standing behind him.

GIRL:

“That’s mine!”

Girl smiles and stretches out her hand.

GIRL:

“Thanks for helping me find it!”

Guy hands the old mobile phone to her.

GUY:

“You’re welcome.”

Camera zooms out, Guy and Girl talks animatedly. Girl is

bubbly and cheerful, and mesmerizes Guy. Before they knew

it, hours have passed.

Girl:

“Did you know something? This railing wasn’t here 5 years ago. It was only added after an accident took place here.”

Guy looks at his watch.

GUY:

“Sorry, I’ve gotta go.”

Guy turns and leaves.

GUY:

(Oh, I forgot to ask for her

name!)

Guy turns back, intending to ask Girl for her name, but the Girl has disappeared.

-Scene 4-

EXT. RED BRIDGE DAY

Guy returns to the Red Bridge the next day, hoping to meet

Girl again. He waits for hours.

Shots of Guy pacing up and down the bridge, reading,

basically whiling away his time.

EXT. RED BRIDGE NIGHT

Guy, feeling exhausted, picks up his bag and is going to

leave.

GIRL:

“Hey! You there!”

Guy turns around to the voice, and sees Girl standing there,

on the Red Bridge.

GUY:

“How do you do it? How do you always appear so mysteriously?”

GIRL:

(Smiles sweetly)

“What about you? What are you doing here?”

GUY:

(Pulls out his mobile phone)

“I lost my hand phone again??”

GIRL:

(Sticks out her tongue)

“Bleah! Liar!”

GUY:

(Stuttering)

“I... err... Well... umm...”

GIRL:

“Hmm, let me guess… you are here because… you were looking for me?”

GUY:

(Looks around nervously, trying not to make eye contact

with Girl)

“...”

GIRL:

No? I’ll be going then...

GUY:

Hey! No! Wait...

NARRATION

(Guy’s voice)

“That day we made a promise to meet there at 7pm everyday.”

-Scene 5-

Various scenes of the Guy and Girl having fun at the bridge.

FADE TO BLACK

-Scene 6-

EXT. RED BRIDGE NIGHT

Girl and Guy at the Red Bridge, both laughing, apparently at some joke Guy had told her earlier.

Girl leans on the bridge and looks far into the distant,

apparently lost in her own thoughts. Guy, thinking it is a

good time to sneak snapping a picture of her, quietly takes

out his camera phone and brings it up to eye level.

Focus on Guy’s face change from a smile to puzzlement.

Camera shot from behind Guy, showing him holding up his

camera phone, but the screen on the phone shows a clear

bridge, with no one on, while right in front of Guy, he can

see girl.

Guy lowers his phone. At the same time the Girl turns around. The Guy with a shocked expression runs away. The Girl

-Scene 7-

INT. ROOM NIGHT

Camera focus on Guy. With his head in his hands and a troubled expression on his face. His room is dark except for the light from his laptop/PC, facing him.

Overlay a newspaper clipping of a girl falling to her death

from the Red Bridge. Overlay video of scene 6.

FADE TO BLACK

-Scene 8-

EXT. RED BRIDGE NIGHT

Guy stands just before the red bridge, looking straight. He wants to see the Girl, even though now he believes she is actually a ghost.

He paces up and down in the night, hoping she would appear,

but nothing happens.

FADE TO BLACK

-Scene 9-

EXT. RED BRIDGE DAY

Nearly Dawn. Girl finally appears to him, with a sad

expression on her face. Guy gives an uneasy smile, but is a little wary of approaching her.

Girl:

“Actually…”

Girl has a flashback.

FADE TO WHITE

-Scene 10-

EXT. RED BRIDGE DAY

Blurry, faded memory type of camera shot. Girl walking

animatedly along the Red Bridge, with her hands full for carry books and notes. Her handphone rings. The Girl reaches for the handphone in her pocket. As she is taking it out it drops. The Girl leans over the railings, trying to reach for her phone.

Camera pans upwards, showing the papers Girl was carrying

flying into the air.

EXT. BOTTOM OF RED BRIDGE DAY

Girl lies lifelessly at the bottom of the bridge. with several students watching around her.

STUDENT #1

Quickly! Go get a lecturer!

Flashback ends.

FADE TO WHITE

EXT. RED BRIDGE DAY

Screen fades back to Girl, with tears flowing down her eyes.

The guy just stands there helplessly not knowing what to do…

Girl stretches out her other hand, holding her mobile phone,

focus on the distinctive strap.

With a smile, wordlessly, she hands the mobile phone to Guy and moves back. Guy, looks at the old handphone, with furrowed brows. Guy looks up at Girl.

Girl has a tearful smile on her face, and as the sun rises, she fades/scatters away into nothingness.

FADE TO BLACK

Credits roll

Bottom of screen is a plant growing on the Red bridge,

fluttering in the wind.

Credits end

Footsteps can be heard. The Guy walks into the scene.

NARRATION

(Guy’s voice)

“I made the story of us into a film in memory.

The film got a nomination in the competition…

But we didn’t win.”

A ringtone is heard. The Guy looks around he spots a handphone lying on the floor. He moves forward to pick it up. It’s a more modern handphone but he notices the strap it’s the same as the one the Girl had.

A girl’s voice:

“That’s mine! Thank you~”

Guy looks up and is stunned at what he sees.

A girl in a more modern dressing with the same face as the ‘Girl’ stands in front of him with her hand stretched out…

SCREEN BLACKS OUT

2007-09-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

whew... havnt posted for like so long le... just thought maybe i'd come back and do some posting try to keep this blog alive... been not really busy... just finished comex fair... having a sore throat... starting to get my dreams on track... i'll be doing some filming soon.. heheZ... so excited... and it will be my script thats gonna be used too... talk abt watching yours dreams come true... cant waiting been slacking for like a semester le.. time to get my life back on track... start exercising too... well not much to update from here... juz one thing...

*~dT 2 Dt~*
dream time to devotion time...
no more dreaming time...
more devotion time...
let get this show on the road...

2007-06-04T02:40:00.000+08:00

cant slp yet.. got work to catch up on... now hungry wanna eat cant find anyone to go supper with me... anyways.. 2day was a heck of an enjoyment.. went to eat paperpot... it was really nice... took a pic... jx they not really fond of taking pics.. still trying to psycho them to take neoprint... =P anyways i think i wanna go cook mee... no choice... haiZz... then gotta get back to work le... i chose the smallest so tat my ugly face cant be seen properly... hahaZ... oh and i tried to mimicked he-man hairstyle looked crappy... not gonna try again a least outside...

trying to act cute with my lil bro...

as u can see total disaster...

2007-05-28T00:18:00.000+08:00

have been thinking alot this week... anyways havnt been blogging for a long time le have i... went to watch a movie ytd hahaZ... pirates of the caribbean at world end... wasn't really that nice... okok for me i guess... but there's this commercial that caught my eye reacently.. hahaZ... i'm posting it here... anyways gotta go...

2007-05-13T02:47:00.000+08:00

ytd was fun went for a movie wif jx and lao die went to watch 200 Pound Beauty... its a very touching show.. but i think i caught the fun side of it more... hahaZ... after show ended none of felt like goin home so.. we went to watch another movie!!! Blades Of Glory.. it was another funny show.. hahaZ... nvr had such a good laugh for such a long time le... lolx... thne reached home at 7... went to slp then had to go work le... havnt work for so long man.. kept making mistakes today... either way was forced to work... cuz someone needed my help.. wahahaZ... anyways i think i'm going thru tat quiet phrase again.. cant think of much to say lately.. tats why also havnt been blogging much... anyways cant think of anything to say le... ending here...

2007-05-02T01:05:00.000+08:00

just thought i'd post a song i've taken a liking to recently...

*~so sick~*
by ne-yo

Ooooo Ooooo, yeah
Du du du du du du du du du
Oh yeah

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I’m alone
Cause right now its says that we
Can’t come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cause you walked out the door
But it’s the only way I hear your voice anymore

It’s ridiculous
It’s been months
For some reason I just
Can’t get over us
And I’m stronger then this (yeah)
Enough is enough
No more walking around with my head down (yeah)
I’m so over being blue
Crying over you

And I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio

Gotta fix that calendar I had
That’s marked July 15th
Because since there’s no more you
There’s no more anniversary
I’m so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And now every song reminds me of what used to be

That’s the reason
I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still hear
Said I’m so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio

Ooohh leave me alone
Leave me alone
Stupid love songs (oooohh)
(hey) Don’t make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I’m letting go
Turning off the radio

Cause I’m so sick of love songs (hey)
So tired of tears (so tired of tears)
So done with wishing (ooohh)
She was still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs
So sad and slow (ooooo ohh)
So why can’t I turn off the radio (why can’t I turn off the radio)

Said I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears (so tired of tears yeah)
So done with wishing
She was still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs (love songs ooooh)
So sad and slow (hey)
Why can’t I turn off the radio (why can’t I turn off the radio)

And I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio (why can’t I turn off the radio)
Why can’t I turn off the radio?

2007-04-26T00:10:00.000+08:00

thought that i'd blog 2day cause something i find ridiculous happened today... i had a fire drill exercise... thats like the last thing i wld expect from my poly life.. fire drill exercise...and becuz if that i cldn't even end sch early.. my GEMs ended early but cldn't be releases... becuz of the fire drill exercise... we took so long to go to the field then the moment my classes reached.. veryone was dismissed... what a waste of time man... fire drill exercise... gosh... anyways.. tmr is the party thing.. not sure whether goin a not.. gotta go do other stuff le... ending here...

2007-04-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

well okay shannon time to get your life on track... enough if wondering and dreaming you've had the whole week to do tat... or rather your whole 18 yrs le... WAKE UP!!! u r in a way in ur 3rd yr le man... gotta stop dreaming... u r a man le at least try to be one la... no more feeling sorry for myself... time to take it like a man...stop being a loser le... okie enough of the lousy motivation talk... went watch "wild hogs" 2day... hahaZ... was so funny... couldn't stop laughing... been a long time since i met with jx they all and watch a movie le... finally ITP end le... freedom... btw... anyone wanna got MOS next thurs for the TERTIARY FLING VI party??? got to go get back to my slacking time le...

2007-04-12T13:58:00.000+08:00

in office right now can't think of anythin to do.. and i know that if i were to juz sit there i would start thinking again... so thought i came in to blog not much to update... ytd i finaaly solved 1 prob in my life makes me feel better... right now juz trying to enjoy the last few days of my holiday... sch will start for me nxt week... which means its time to start my plan le... time to call the teacher... regarding the club i'm not sure wad to do... still thinking... shld i go.. i juz feel so useless right now..i wanna be a better man.. stronger man... either way this holiday has given me a inspiration for a story... its gonna take some time to get it out... anyways... gotta get back to work le...

*~holiday dream...~*
true, fake or just a dream???

2007-04-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

i'm so lost and confused... maybe i'm high on medicine... maybe i'm juz weak... maybe it's all juz a dream... if it is i juz wan to remain sleeping forever... and never wake up from it... i'm so tired right now... i knew i was implusive... i was childish, selfish... i was wrong... forgive me... maybe sometimes i want more... sometimes less... i dont know what i want any more... but right now... all i want is to be by your side...

2007-03-20T11:20:00.000+08:00

right now being forced to sit in a class so bored so tot i come in and blog... juz to make up for the previous post cause was cut off halfway as had work to do... actually nothing much to make up except havebeen chasing rocky I-V this past week finally finshed watching it le... anyways bryant birthday bash is coming soon le cant wait gonna wreak havoc man... and yes its my 6 week at ITP le 3more weeks... cant stand my boss sometimes u know... everytime he's in a bad mood he takes it out on me.. sucks man.. why doesn't he take it out on some1 else.. sheesh...its always shannon this shannon tat... i'm not the only intern here u know there's arnold here too...and he keeps on jumping to conclusions and start scolding le... this company is seriously messed up.. putting the students as system admin and letting them doing the class set ups juz hope to make it through my ITP without the company collapsing... been doing some thinking lately... i look at every1 and they know wad they are gonna be doing.. they all have skills that wil get them through life... really useful ones.. and they all accomplished in those areas for me.. my studies are crap... want to pursue my dreams and yet i'm still so far away from it... so the moment this holiday end i'm gonna start to focus on my dreams le... its all gonna be work, study and learning.. so gonna have less time for playing and going out..(provided i really do all this la...) but i'm really quite serious this time... feel so useless...thinki end here le..lunch break...

*~RE: Jx leg...~*
okay lathough jx puts broken ankle at his msn nick its only a ligament injury... or thats wad he told me at least when i called him ytd...

2007-03-14T10:19:00.000+08:00

havnt blog in a long time... now at ITP cant find anything much to do at the moment so tot i drop by to blog... i'm not sure whether ec took my advice... but.. hahaZ... he has a blog now...so better or i hope jx u guys have a blog too... anyways... so bored right... realise i hav been neglecting my blog... alot... tats maybe becuz i found another to dump my worries to ba... heheZ...

2007-02-19T17:17:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!
hahaZ... juz here to blog... now waiting for my relatives to come over so sianZz... been working with all computers i cld work wif in my life for de past few days... everytime i came home din even feel like touching de comp man... finally got a break from all tat work.... and de pay still sux... but de working experience is really good... tat i hav to admit... learnt alot of things abt computers in de past 4 days... even more then sch... now juz NUAing in front of de comp.. so sianZz... cant think of anythin to do... also been addicted wif alot of shows.. hana kimi(hua yang shao nian shao nu), corner*with love(zhuan ziao yu dao ai)... and alot of animes... wonder if got time to really chase all of them... for the past few days there is this g... nvm.. i'll save it for another time...

2007-02-13T02:54:00.001+08:00

back here for a short post cuz kinda bored.. i received a call 2dae from my LO it turns out i am doing ITP this holiday after all so much for planning big stuff for the holiday... anyways juz read to thru the log book turn out i have to go do a resume of some sort to had up tmr... and i missed ITP 2day wonder wat is goin to happen when i report for work tmr... haiZz... juz hope it will be fine...

*~ITP~*
seriously the pay sux...

Name of Company you are attached to:	AVANTUS TRAINING PTE LTD
Reporting Address:	79 ROBINSON ROAD #15-04 CPF BUILDING 068897 SG
Person to Report to:	MR SAM WONG
Telephone Number:	64163068
ITP Start Date:	2007-02-12
ITP End Date:	2007-04-14
Time of Reporting:	8.30AM
Allowance:	440/Month

2007-02-13T02:54:00.000+08:00

Name of Company you are attached to:	AVANTUS TRAINING PTE LTD
Reporting Address:	79 ROBINSON ROAD #15-04 CPF BUILDING 068897 SG
Person to Report to:	MR SAM WONG
Telephone Number:	64163068
ITP Start Date:	2007-02-12
ITP End Date:	2007-04-14
Time of Reporting:	8.30AM
Allowance:	440/Month

2007-02-12T03:20:00.000+08:00

hahaZ... havnt blog for a very long time... been busy trying to buy new years clothes and working... had no time for alot of other stuffs... no slowly hope to catch on my original intentions... i know this make no sense.. wadever... anyways valentine's day is ard de corner and i think i will be alone again... as usual... slpin at home... been feeling kind of messed up lately.. cant explain why... juz look at my entry all in no order juz typing all over de place... so sianZz now nothing to do... but i think finally understand the purpose of having a blog... its to come in here once in a while to share your happiness or vent frustrations... kinda of nice its like a online diary to me.. but in a more public way... and ec if u ever read this... i wld advice u to haf a blog too... jx, mh and lao die too... its kinda a indirect way to share stuff wif ur frens... whew... cant believe i said so many gay stuff at 1 go... eee... eerie... think i end here...

2007-01-18T01:44:00.000+08:00

back to blog trying to keep it alive hopefully... 2day finally ended another project... my GEMs... tat leaves me with my Java and TCP/IP... hope to get my Java done by this but feeling sick.. dunno wads wrong sucks man... been missing lessons again... gotta stop... okay gotta get to my projects... but sleep 1st.. got a lesson at 8 tmr... haiZz... tmr is all lecture day.. very tempted to skip sch tmr... canot muz go... been neglecting quite a few stuffs lately like my buddies... havnt been playing basketball with them lately... been working and sch stuffs... but feels like excuses to me though... and her too... anyways gotta go slp le...

2007-01-12T01:37:00.000+08:00

okie.. i know havnt posted for very been partially busy and lazy... well.. juz here to make a short post to show tat at least my blog is still alive... been busy wif projects, working, and getting my life back on track... yupZz... tats abt it... nothing really much impt to update... oh ya... 2day i had my 1st 'RED BULL'... i was expecting it to be bitter cuz its energy drink... & it taste more like apple juice to me... dang sweet man... wad happen to de wings though??? din see them all day... and even fell aslp well help khai wif his FE... wells so for giving us wings... i wanna go rest le...

2006-12-02T03:57:00.000+08:00

* warning* not impt at all...

this few days i came to realize somethin that in all my life all i'm ever good for is being a support, reserve cause i suck, i bet most people agree with this right... i just feel so neglected makes me wonder if i were to just disappear right now would any1 notice... guess nobody... cause i'm like invisible... maybe i'll just go back to being an asshole... at least i'm sure people will notice me, although in a negative way... hey... like i've said before dun like me say it.. dun pretend to be all okay wif me give me some crappy false shit... make me treat u like a friend when in your eyes i'm just dirt... or is that how u guys treat me in the 1st place... and all along its me that has been dreaming... or maybe u just wan to make use of me... well here's something i'm worthless okay... nothing abt me worth using...u know wad jus fuck everythin... nothing matters... fuck it all...

2006-11-25T00:20:00.000+08:00

wow... so long nvr blog le... recently been lazing... let see for updates... basketball is doing well... after our nxt match against CADC we shld be thru... captians ball also... tmr going out wif my buddies... to get stuff for min hao... hahaZ... lets see... wat else... hmm... whoo... and i'm going to.. nvm... save it 1st... oh ya... any1 interested in doing filming??? or video editing... CG... pls come find me... oh ya.. SP only... moving on... nothing much really... juz hope everythin can go smoothly... cant think of much le.. so end here bahZ...

*~'E' is for Emo...~*
'E' is for Emo, the reason i'm so low...
'E' is for Emo, the reason i'm so low...
'E' is for Emo, the reason i'm so low...
oh...Emo, Emo, Emo starts wif 'E'...

2006-11-04T02:42:00.000+08:00

haiZz... juz feeling low 2dae... nothing went well... totally negative... kinda despairing... so lost right now...

2006-11-02T18:41:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!! we won BE ytd... and if alex is rite its our 1st win in 3 yrs... hahaZ... din went to sch 2dae... overslept... and ytd i did even worst... dun wanna say abt it... anyways we won... 87-62... nxt match is at 18 still far... training tmr... nothing much to update bahs... oh ya... i realise tat there r more ppl reading my blog than i tot... but no 1 tags... did quite well for my GEMs test... and maths quiz.. so practically everythin went smoothly ytd... whew... end here le ba... nothing much left to update le...

2006-11-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

haiZz... lost to sports club ytd... losing my bad habit a little... but its still dere... tmr is de real thing.. juz hope i can pull myself 2gether... wats worse logan say maybe he not playing tmr.. wont tell me de reason... i juz been feeling negative abt alot of stuff tis few days.. cant find anythin positive to push myself wif... lost my phone for like 3-4 hours 2dae then suddenly found it again in my bag... make me miss my favourite steamboat 2dae... tmr i also hav a GEMs test... haiZz... lots of stuff tmr... hope both of them go smoothly... i juz hope tat i dun cuz any troubles or screw ups anymore... if i screw up myself its ok... juz along as i affect others... din play bball wif my buddies last sunday... oh ya... juz rmbed something... ytd keval suddenly fainted... scared de shit out of every1 man.. get well soon my friend... wanna trash u again... hahaZ... e-learning is nxt week soon exam... a term is over... & my life's still in shambles... ytd some1 died at clementi MRT... almost ended up taking 1 big round home... i wondered wad happened... lazy to go find out... back to studyin'... =p

*~i'm 'L'~*

i'm "L"...
its stands for "Loudmouth...",
"Lazy...",
"Lonely..." &
"Loser..."

2006-10-28T01:01:00.000+08:00

tired & shaqed man... 2dae had friendly against CSCC we won 52-37... haiZz... my bad habit is still dere... hands & legs trembling at de thought of match... & nxt monday playing against sports club somemore die la... its gonna shake even more... isn't dere a way to overcome this??? if there is tell me... cause i think i need it seriously... hope i can overcome it by monday... & went to watch death note yesterday with nas.. its so cool la cant wait to see death note 2... gonna start chasing the comics if possible... but inter-cons 1st ba... haiZz... gotta overcome... i feel like i'm juz all talk all of a sudden like a freakin' poser... stop tired cant think...

*~garbage...~*

if u want to treat me like garbage...
at least make sure i'm recycled...

2006-10-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

back after 1o days??? this few days nothing much to update...cuz been doin de same things... nothing big happening... not yet tat is... oh ya be4 i forget HAPPY BIRTHDAY DELWYN!!! recently seen & heard alot of stuffs abt breaking up & relationship problems... which has made me waver my stand on alot stuffs... been also doing alot of stupid things recently... i'm not sure abt myself anymore... not sure wat i want or who i am... not clear of my feelings... not clear of my stand... not sure where i belong... i hav no idea anymore... i seem to be back to my aimless days again somehow... juz living each day as it comes... so lost...
but back to stuffs... min hao!!! y muz u book in 15 dec??? cant u even stay to celebrate my bdae??? hahaZ... anyways becuz of tat we had to cramp alot of stuff we were planning for de december holidays... somehow i think i'm gonna start to haf mood swings soon... dun ask why... dere's no answer to tat.. juz gonna hav it so look out...

*~Breaking Free~*
(Watched HIgh Musical Recently i know its old kays but really like tis song...)

We're soarin', flyin'
There's not a star in heaven
That we can't reach

If we're trying
So we're breaking free

You know the world can see us
In a way that's different than who we are

Creating space between us
'Til we're separate hearts

But your faith it gives me strength
Strength to believe

We're breakin' free
We're soarin'
Flyin'
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can't reach
If we're trying
Yeah, we're breaking free
Oh, we're breakin' free
Ohhhh

Can you feel it building
Like a wave the ocean just can't control

Connected by a feeling
Ohhh, in our very souls

Rising 'til it lifts us up
So every one can see

We're breakin' free
We're soarin'
Flyin'

There's not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we're trying
Yeah we're breaking free
Ohhhh runnin'
Climbin'
To get to that place

To be all that we can be
Now's the time
So we're breaking free
We're breaking free
Ohhh , yeah

More than hope
More than faith
This is true
This is fate
And together

We see it comin'
More than you
More than me

Not a want, but a need
Both of us breakin' free

Soarin'
Flyin'
There's not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we're trying
Yeah we're breaking free

Breaking free
Were runnin'
Ohhhh, climbin'
To get to the place
To be all that we can be
Now's the time

Now's the time
So we're breaking free
Ohhh, we're breaking free
Ohhhh

You know the world can see us
In a way that's different than who we are

2006-10-15T04:19:00.000+08:00

hahaZ... damn bored now so came to blog... lets see... for 1 thing nas is staying over at my hse now... ya... lets from fri... bball training was like so tiring... ran till my feet went almost numb... den plus de later 5 on 5 game was like half aslp... my whole body was like a vegetable... so dead... then 2dae went down to CS to find nas den later met de 2 pokemon's for dinner... den ate and chat... den nas came over to my hse to stay... so now he's here.. currently cooking somethin be he starts fasting... so here am blogging... lolx.. and now nas is eating behing me... now i'm feeling hungry i tink i gonna go cook somethin to eat...

*~nas's time~*
we are f**king bored rite now...
nothing to do...
eating 3 packets of mee goreng...
at 4.19a.m...
chocolate rules...
jigglypuff cant play pool...
and pikachu's a nuisance...
shannon is g**...

2006-10-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

hmm... back to blog... lets see rock climbing ROX... woohoo!!! but its tiring man cuz my technique is all wrong tats what de instructor said... but dun worry i will reach de top... & i really regret goin to de gym on tues... it made de climbing even tougher... or maybe i'm juz weak... okie... tmr is bball training... haiZz... wonder wat will become of me... oh ya... saw de CADC & sports club friendly 2dae... got me all fired up man... wanna quickly start playing... cant wait for sunday... cant even wait for tmr... hope we get to play team.. havnt been chatting wif her tis past few days... anyways... gotta concentrate on my script and bball... and gym... wanna buy clothes sia but no money... dang... work.. i wanna work any1 got lobang???

*~(heard this on de radio...)~*
why cant de haze make up its mind???
come & go, come & go, come & go...
irritating lor...

2006-10-10T22:41:00.000+08:00

hahaZ.. so long nvr post le... lets see... i've learnt how to play de guitar... finally... lolx... but only 1 song... ask nas to go teach me more... hahaZ... recently me & nas at war wif to pokemon... jasper and yusii... hahaZ... juz went to gym... hahaZ... woohoo!!! by luck i manage to made it into de SPSU team... hahaZ... and wear my fav jersey 15... =p... i juz publicly let ppl know my blog so... hahaZ... anyways... tmr rock climbing EP starting... wooohooo!!! cant wait... but sianZz got GEMs... i wanna go shopping lehZ... but no money... haiZz... slowly starting to click wif some of the classmates le... oh ya... hahaZ... went to mobley block wif de 2 pokemon and nas 2dae... hahaZ... played pool... but i think de most fun was de massage chair... hahaZ... me,nas & meowth took turns to sit in... hahaZ... quite relaxing... i think i end here...

*~Bored~*
Cigarettes kills about 438,000 ppl each year...
It kills more than AIDS, alcohol, car accidents, murders, suicides, drugs and fires combined...
So does boredom...

2006-10-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

hahaZ... 1 week of sch has past le... cant seem to click wif my classmates... now kinda of worried when project timE comes... haiZz...
this few days everyday exercising... either is go gym or playing bball... hopefully i can make it into the SPSU team... wanna play... hahaZ... dun why like suddenly alot of my shots r easier to make.. maybe becuz of gym... wadever the reason.. hahaZ... its good... thinking whether to go gym tmr... hmm... tats all le nothing much to do le...

*~1 Sept 2006: TalkingCock in Parliament, Hossan Leong~*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km1WwmaBR5Y...
(a funny video)

2006-09-28T08:53:00.000+08:00

back after a long holiday... sch's started and everything... my scripts not 1 coNcrete 1... i'm so screwed.. hopefully can get them out by the end of this week... well.. small update... Ec's got a gf... amazing??? it was even the girl who the initiative to chase... well... had probs wif my timetable... but its settled le... so now juz have to work hard and pass every single damn module... ya... well... she's officially broken up wif her bf... ya.. so... ya... anyways goin to go to sch le... cant think of much more to update...

*~(Juz for laughs...)~*
Gym Workout = $1.50 Forked Out...
Clothes that are Dope = A bank account Broke...
A Buddy for life = Marrying a wife...

2006-09-11T00:18:00.000+08:00

havnt update for a very long time le... haiZz... there r reasons... well... 1stly the past happenned to be my little bro holiday... so i let my bros play the computer for like almost 24/7 and was kinda lazy to update anyways... not wif them ard at least... and another thing is this past week has been a confusing week for me... wad happen i dun feel like posting it up.. lets juz it has something to do wif her... right i juz wanna find a fren who wld listen to my problems... normally i wld tell it to her.. but as this problems concerns her... i cant... is there any 1 out dere tat can help me.. tot of talking to abt it wif my buds but i guess they wld juz dig at me... feel really dumb sometimes... i'm so confused... arghed... so lost.. and as for my script havnt really started yet.. haiZz... i'm screwing up my life again... haiZz...

*~n0 mood, no qoutes...~*

2006-08-25T00:14:00.000+08:00

whew... exams finally over... and now i'm more prepared then ever to repeating 4 modules... i'm a goner for sure... but anyways its over.. no point worrying le... juz pray hard for a miracle bahZ...been going to gym this few days... and then when i see myself get fitter... hahaZ... hav such a sense of achievement man... yesh... muz keep it up... i can do it... *nod* and the holidays are can start working on my stories and 'Goh Min Hao, Handsome For Life Project'... hahaZ... and find a job... so many things to do... wanna buy clothes too... go gym... busy busy busy... anyways going to gym tmr at 7a.m... wif oliver and bryant tmr... think i better go slp le bahZ...

2006-08-22T00:33:00.000+08:00

its tues 12.29a.m... went to gym today wif bryant and my bro... hahaZ... guess who we met on the way... jin rui aka oliver... my primary sch classmate... and wad a small world... he's bryant's classmate... so the 4 of us went to gym 2gether... learn quite alot of gym stuffs from him... bryant and i realise tat we still dun really know alot of gym stuffs... gonna start doing research soon... hahaZ... jin rui is like so fit... aim to be like him someday... but he goes to gm everyday man... amazing sia... so bryant & i tot lets try tat for the whole holiday... then by nxt sem we would both be fit guys... strong arms... 6 pacs... big chested man... hahaZ... seems like a dream sia... but its possible... *nod* *nod* going again tmr morning... and i hav ServerM tmr afternoon somemore... i still hav no idea how i fared for my project... haiZz... another module doomed to fail... but the paper has 40 mcqs worth 80 marks... shldn't be hard to fail rite??? and i dropped my phone ytd... now my screen is like so spoilt... goner liao my phone.. hav to go repair soon... or else no phone... went to play bball on sunday... had lots of fun... i was like on fire... did quite alot of air time moves... hahaZ... feel so proud of myself... but overall had alot of fun... going out tis sat to celebrate jx and bn bdae... but cash is gonna be a big prob... haiZz...

*~EC Good Luck... ~*
(dun feel like writing anythin here today... but intstead i wanna wish Ec good luck... cuz he's been kinda on a down streak lately...)
So Eng Chuan stay happy...
Hold your head up high and go for it...
And the good times will eventually come...

2006-08-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

its sunday 1.25a.m. now... her birthday is over and i din even said 'Happr Birthday' once to her... i actually forgot abt it... guess its a good thing bahZ... i'm slowly forgetting things abt her... i'm slowly forgetting her... but now comes jx bdae... tis is a buddy tat will always be wif me.. no way i'll forget... gonna go play bball wif them tmr... 2dae i slept till real late... woke up at 5 plus... half the day gone... sheeZ... but i finall had a good rest... been studyin the past few days... tmr after bball gtg study le... i tink my blog is quite pitiful??? i hav a tag board but no one tags it... hahaZ... nvm... tis is my secret base in a way... where i put out all my fustrations... thx blog... hahaZ... always feel better after letting things out...

*~1 day...~*

1 day...
24 hours...
1440 minutes...
86400 seconds...
Which means the possibility of 2 strangers meeting at a same place in a day is 1 out of 86400...
So if you meet someone you like go for it...
Cause you might never meet that person again...
(Unless u know that person that is...)

2006-08-19T02:18:00.000+08:00

haiZz... juz had my maths paper 2dae... i'm a gonna... sure maybe i'll pass the paper... but i dun tink i can get enuff to pass the module... so screwed... so dead... nxt serverM and INET left... seriously praying for a miracle... but a least in all this despair... i hav a terrific news... i'm another step closer to my dreams... this SEM i took a GEMs called 'Film Appreciation'... my module lecturer is a director and she has a film club... so i talked to her during the 1st lesson... hoping for somethin... then she said she wanted to see my performance in class 1st... then on thurs i went to take the paper... after i talked wif her... she said i got the potenial... and talked a little abt how much i loved filming... heheZ... then she asked me to write 3 main stories and show it to her nxt sem... wahahaha... i'm gonna start fliming soon... cant wait for exams to be over so i can work on my script and the sem to start filming... so... i tot abt it... if i stay in SP longer i get to do more films... hahaZ... so its okay to fail??? =P but i still wanna pass... cuz its such a drag to do the same modules again... haiZz... its pass 12mn le... its her birthday 2dae... dun think i will get her a present bahZ... and jx tmr... we still hav no idea how we r gonna celebrate it... exam period and all... i tink i end here... better start studyin tmr...

*~yesterday-today-tommorow...~*

Yesterday is History...
Tommorow's a Mystery...
Today's a Gift...
Thats why we a called the Present...

2006-08-16T01:46:00.000+08:00

i feel like i'm going to die so seriously... i expect to repeat 4 modules... and jx's bdae is coming and we havnt decide on anythin yet... hmm... i wonder wat to get him... and her bdae is also coming too... tinking of giving her a bdae present but... hahaZ... i dun seem fit to giv her a bdae present... haiZz... anyways this few days nothin much... juz spent most of my days at home... hoping to study and waiting for a miracle... i'm so screwed... i tink i'm gonna get kicked out of poly soon... i'm either gonna die of boredom... or die in the hands of my dad when my results come... cuz i'm most likely to flung them all... i'm on a path of despair right now...bryant juz called... goin wif him to gym tmr... haiZz... broke... restless... cant seem to do anythin... youtube's down cant watch one piece... gonna go plan out how i'm gonna study tmr...

*~Leaf's departure is because of Wind pursuit...~*

Tree
===

The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.
Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting.
I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U.
There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her.
She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her.
Like her innocent, like her frankness.
Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility.
Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me.
I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish.
I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her.
I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her.
The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.
She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us.
She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off.
The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut.
I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom.
She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something.
I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her.
There was once when both of them quarreled.
I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel.
But I still sided with my girlfriend.
I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked.
I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened.
I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out.
After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her.
She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too.
I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together.
I know whose the guy.
He has been going after her for quite a while.
A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting.
His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her.
When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it.
It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest.
I couldn't breath.
Wanted to shout but can't.
Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry.
How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too. During graduation, I read a sms in my hp.
It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry.
I haven't read it since then.
It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf
===

During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why?
Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage.
During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy.
Not BGR kind but as buddy kind.
But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon.
It's like 100 rotten sour lemon.
Sourness to the extreme limit.
They were only together for 2 mths.
When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness.
But after a mth, he got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me.
But why won't he pursue me?
Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move?
Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.
Time after time, my heart was hurt.
I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love.
If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well.
It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend.
Liking a person is very heart wrenching.
I can know his likes, his habits.
But his feelings towards me I can never figure out.
You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side.
Care for him, accompany him, love him.
Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me.
It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms.
I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me.
Because of this, I waited for him.
The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up.
Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting.
The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me.
Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly.
From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart.
He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree.
In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart.
I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave to afar away & better land.
Finally I left tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay

Wind
====

Because I like a gal called leaf.
Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind.
A wind that will blow her away.
When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfered to the new school.
I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer.
During ECA time, she will always be sitting there.
Be it alone or with her friends looking at him.
When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes.
When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes.
Looking at her became my habit.
Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear.
I felt something amissed.
I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness.
The senior was also not there as well.
I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her.
Tears were in her eyes while he left.
The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him.
I walked over and smiled to her.
Took out a note & gave to her.
She was surprised.
She looked at me, smiled & accept the note.
The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away
It's not that leaf heart is too heavy.
It's because leaf never want to leave tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls.
I know that the person she loves is not me.
But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.
Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times.
Every time, she will divert away from the topic.
But I never give up.
If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over.
I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend.
I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone.
I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?"
She said, "I'm nodding my head".
"Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears.
"I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly.
I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place &
press her door bell.
During the moment when she opens the door.
I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay???

2006-08-10T05:51:00.000+08:00

hahaZ... national day... wad a boring day... slept practicall throughout the whole and woke to hav lunch then dinner... steamboat!!! wahahah... really had my fill man... then i was back to JAVA... i missed my FA test on tues fell sick... and was unable to go... but i dun hav a Mc wonder if i will be given a retest... haiZz... for some reason feel kinda low today... no mood to do anythin... even din had much for steamboat.. juz feel so lousy at the moment... then felt like coming to juz rant out some crap...
shannon u sux u know??? big time... unable to do anythin... juz lazing is ur speciality... cant do anythin right... living off others... letting ppl u love get hurt... letting the ppl u like go... and all u do is watch... powerless to do anythin... why dun u try doing somethin for a change??? your dreams wad happened to them??? u giving up alrdy??? or was it all juz empty talk??? seriously get a life... she can nvr be yours.. forget it.. wake up from ur fantasies will ya??? dun like ur life??? do something dammit... u're juz a god damn pain in ass to every1... useless guy...

*~Now/Never™...©~*

2006-08-08T04:59:00.000+08:00

well... its 4.54am now... why am i still up so late and not getting some beauty sleep... well... cuz i hav a movie to catch... Capote... need to watch by 5pm later 2dae for my GEMs test later on... kinda getting sick of watchin so tot of blogging for a while... well... where did i update to last time???
lets start wif fri... i missed lessons again... so totally overslept and was unable to go gym wif sen and ethan in the morning... i even overslept the appointment wif jx and bn... we were supposed to meet at 12.30 & i woke up at 1... wanted to rush down le... then my father offered to fetch me derre after he fetched my bro to his exams that is...then he dragged me to pay bills wif him be4 finally fetchin me to meet them... i was like late for 3 hours... haiZz... well... back on track... we got a backpack for EC tat day cuz we all figured it would be the most practical gift to give...

sat... wanted to go gym wif my cousin initially but we both stayed up really late last night so we were too tired to go gym the nxt day... haiZz... really wanted to go sia...then stayed home all day and chased one piece on youtube...

sun... went to play bball wif my buds & also to hand EC his bdae present... HaiZz... but he was unlucky... during our last game he sprained his ankle again... he landed on my foot as he was landing... and the worst he juz recovered... i feel so guilty causing him to be injured again... hope he recovers soon... then went to choing JAVA...
i chionged as much as cld but still din make it for the deadline 2dae... but thankfully teacher allowed us to hand in on thurs or else i wld hav been so dead... so now i juz want to finish my GEMs... then go chiong my JAVA later 2dae... i'm so gonna need help... oh ya... we r all planning a 'Goh Min Hao, Handsome For Life Project' for his prom night but tat will come after our exams... hahaZ... hope it goes well... well got to get back to my movie... getting hungry maybe i'll go cook somethin...

*~ mInDsEt? ~*
(a little quote from 'One Piece')

Once I've set my mind on my dream...
I'm gonna accomplish it even if it means dying...

2006-08-04T01:53:00.000+08:00

i feel like i'm such an asshole... ytd sleep late to try and do my server project... then 2dae... i totally overslept... and left jeff all alone in sch to do the project himself again... i so feel like killing myself for being so irreponsible... but jeff juz keep doing things by himself... maybe its cuz i dun prove myself reliable... i'm als0 kinda of worried... especially wif INET he did everythin all by himself... i dunno if i shld thx him or hate him for doing it all alone... this reminds me... tat din totally didn't do anythin... INET he actually lied to me and said he went... then jeff told me tat he didn't see din tat day... he didn't even try... and server although his not in my grp... but joel seems so stressed now... din nvr go for lessons... alice cant help much... haiZz... i know i'm not really much better of myself... and here i'm having fun... going out with my buds tmr... and gym wif sen and ethan... not knowing wad is going to happen to my INET or server... i'm really am an ASSHOLE... but jeff juz wont tell me anythin... haiZz... ARGH!!! i'm going crazy... guess all i can do now is trust jeff on the INET proj... and do my best for server...

so like i said i'm goin out wif my buds tmr... we're goin to get a present for ec as his bdae is coming soon... we couldn't really tink of wad to get him... so i suggested getting him a shirt to gif him like a change of style... which gives me somethin to confess here... when i'm wif my buds i'm in 1 style... when i'm in school i'm another style... when i'm going out wif other ppl other then my buds i'm another style... so tat makes 3 styles... confusing... then nvm then... cuz it doesn't matter anyways... cuz no matter what style i am, its still me underneath...

and i've decided to make my blog go public... but first i hav to wait like 5 more post bahZ... to wash back some of the more secretive stuffs...cuz i'm afraid if i go public now she might read all the things i've said abt her... although no names... but she shld know... tis will las0 be the last post which i'm going to talk abt her... this few days busy wif projs and stuff... so is she so didn't really get to talk to her... hope i can get to talk to her soon... actually come to think, i can go public and talk abt her now tat i tink abt it... i juz tell my fren in their blogs 1 by 1... then she wont know... ya... i guess i'll do juz tat... see first ba... dang... now i'll hav to rethink this all over again...

2006-08-03T03:05:00.000+08:00

i've decided... actually not really... well.. i'm thinking of whether i should have my blog go public??? let more people know about it... but that would also mean i cant talk abt more personal stuffs le... how??? tell me... will someone???

so back to updates... lets see... today 1st... there was this anime screening thing in SP today... so went to help out... had lots of fun watching the animes... hahaZ... felt nice... then i found a TV a the PA room... and the uncle was so kind as to let me watch "Mr. Fighting"... and he let me eat and watch too... thx uncle!!! so back to the screening... had lots of fun other then the fact that calista took my beanie(the one she keeps calling a ski cap) and went running ard wif it... and was dragged to having dinner wif them but i din had anythin as i forgot to bring my money 2day... =p oh ya... my slping disease is getting worst man... i'm pretty sure i set an alarm for 7 today... but i din even hear it ring... if my mom hadn't woke me up i tink i wld haf slept thru the day... haiZz... maybe i can see a doc for this can i??? and i found out 2day tat jeff had finished the INET proj alrdy... felt really bad abt having him doing it all... so i'm going to put my all in this server or else i dun tink i will feel at ease...

so nxt... hmm... what others highlights are there??? oh ya... i broke my pair of specs... the one in the pic... dang... i really liked tat pair man... last sunday i was really hoping to play basketball wif my buddies... i tot of this really cool move really wanted to try it out... but it juz kept raining and raining... haiZz... and i dun tink dere will be any this week too as we all gonna have exams le... haiZz... hey.... if u huys are reading this promise me something??? our friendship will nvr change even for a million yrs kay?? cuz i've seen alot of my frenz losing their best frenz and stuff... i tink its really amazing tat all us, so different was able to become buds in 1st place... so lets stay tat way 4eva... i dun got much left to update le bahZ... wonder if i shld let my blog go public man...
time to get back to projects le...

*~wHaT iS yOuR dEePeSt fEaR?~*
(a quote from Coach Carter... that i find nice...)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate...
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us...
Your playing small does not serve the world...
There is nothing enlighten about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you...
We are all meant to shine as children do...
It's not just in some of us;
'It is in everyone...'
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same...
As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automactically liberates others...

this was suppose to be up on July 26... duno why it wasn't posted...
Seriously this sucks... i juz changed this new blog skin... and i lost my previous post... juz crap man together wif the photo i uploaded... sux juz sux... and as for school also sux i go to lesson not understand a thing... i think i'm drifting away from like everything my classmates, school work, and my dreams... i'm so screwed can't seem to find any mood to study... but i have to study although i hav no interest at all... my friends think i dun care at all about everything but i do... its just that its elsewhere... most of my classmates have given up on the fact that they are going to be a technician after this course and have started planning... but i don't i still believe that i can still achieve my dreams... but maybe i should learn from my uncle do well in diploma have a back up just in case even if i have no interest... argh... but i'm in totally no mood... argh... "MOOD!!! where are you???" if i can juz get in to study mode... oh ya wanted to update this on monday but couldn't as the webstie had some probs...

i went to play basketball on sunday with jx, min hao, ec and bi neng they all... and an un-expected guest appeared... 'Alex Tai' never really liked... i was like so expecting a big quarrel or something... cause i've mostly had probs like this with him... but guess we're alright now... i told u guys about my blog le right??? so if u guys are reading this... PLEASE TAG MORE OKAY??? hahaZ...

can't think anymore le... gtg sleep... hopefully my mood will come before its to late... *praying*

*~ bRb ~*

uSuAlLy i wOuLd post sOmE sTuFf hErE...
sOmE qOuTeS oR sOmEtHiNg tHaT hAs mEaNinG tO mE...
bUt hAvN't dOnE tHaT fOr tHe pAsT fEw pOsT...
aNd dIn rEaLly tHoUghT oF 1 fOr 2dAy...
dUn wOrRy iTs cOmInG baCk...

2006-07-26T01:23:00.000+08:00

botak...

2006-07-26T00:54:00.000+08:00

Seriously this sucks... i juz changed this new blog skin... and i lost my previous post... juz crap man together wif the photo i uploaded... sux juz sux... and as for school also sux i go to lesson not understand a thing... i think i'm drifting away from like everything my classmates, school work, and my dreams... i'm so screwed can't seem to find any mood to study... but i have to study although i hav no interest at all... my friends think i dun care at all about everything but i do... its just that its elsewhere... most of my classmates have given up on the fact that they are going to be a technician after this course and have started planning... but i don't i still believe that i can still achieve my dreams... but maybe i should learn from my uncle do well in diploma have a back up just in case even if i have no interest... argh... but i'm in totally no mood... argh... "MOOD!!! where are you???" if i can juz get in to study mode... oh ya wanted to update this on monday but couldn't as the webstie had some probs...

i went to play basketball on sunday with jx, min hao, ec and bi neng they all... and an un-expected guest appeared... 'Alex Tai' never really liked... i was like so expecting a big quarrel or something... cause i've mostly had probs like this with him... but guess we're alright now... i told u guys about my blog le right??? so if u guys are reading this... PLEASE TAG MORE OKAY??? hahaZ...

can't think anymore le... gtg sleep... hopefully my mood will come before its to late... *praying*

*~ bRb ~*

uSuAlLy i wOuLd post sOmE sTuFf hErE...
sOmE qOuTeS oR sOmEtHiNg tHaT hAs mEaNinG tO mE...
bUt hAvN't dOnE tHaT fOr tHe pAsT fEw pOsT...
aNd dIn rEaLly tHoUghT oF 1 fOr 2dAy...
dUn wOrRy iTs cOmInG baCk...

2006-07-20T21:30:00.000+08:00

hahaZ... back again... guess what i din even go to school 2day start slacking at home waiting for school to start then unknowingly fell asleep the next i know it was 5... haiZz... sucks man... missed school again... its nothing new for me to miss school but... this few weeks are very important... got lots of projects, test coming can't really afford to miss any lessons whether important or not... you i went to town with bryant a few days ago... then he asked me about my love life... and then i remembered about her... recently havn't had much time for her... been busy goin to gym, school and my tortise... =p oh ya i bought a tortise recently dunno why... and i'm having a tortise crisis the tortise doesn't seem to be eating the new food i bought for him i wonder whats wrong??? maybe i should go buy back his old food... well... back to topic... she smsed me yesterday when i was in the middle of maths remedial to asked me about the pricing for K box... funny right??? remedial in poly... i kinda flunged my MST... failed everything i'm so screwed man... so i hav to attend remedials now... anyways enough sidetrack... so i told i was busy and that i would call back later... and after lessoned i called her backed... and we chatted all the way till and reached and continued till like 7... for 2 hours plus... hahaZ... havn't chatting with her for tat long felt kinda good... heard she's having some problems with her bf lately... hope they can clear it between them... curious why i'm patching them up... well... i havn't really thought of wad to do... besides if they do break up she will be sad... and i don't wish to see her tat way... but... if they dun break i will still... argh!! lets just let nature takes it course...but the least i can for now i study... she asked me to study hard... so the least i can do for is to study hard and get well i guess.... hopefullly i twill make her happy bahz...oh well gtg study...

LoNg LoNg TimE...

2006-07-20T09:55:00.000+08:00

wahaha... here i come... havnt post for like soooooooooooooooooooo long le... i woke up 2day at 8 looked at my timetable saw 2 boring lectures and went back to sleep again... and now i'm awake with nothing to do... recently havnt had the time to blog cuz was busy with school... i dun think i have updated this so... now i'm bald yep tats right NO HAIR... i'll try to see if i can upload my pic... =p and wats next... hmm... oh ya... i've started to get an addiction to exercising... bryant started to drag me with him to his gym escapades... so i followed... and what do you know... now i'm addicted to pumping iron... *pump* *pump* *pump*... then just when i was on roll i fell sick... great... juz great... wats nxt... oh ya.... guess wat i returned and found my taggie gone... i wonder what happened.... oh well... maybe i 'll try to get it up again wonder what happened??? oh well got get back to reality now....

2006-05-31T01:39:00.000+08:00

yea!!! finally changed my blogskin... and got my self a tagboard... yipees!!! lolx... and did a few lame comments to test it out... but dang... this new blogskin can't seem to be able to read chinese... haiZz... oh well... can't have the best of both worlds i guess... went to saw x-men3 again 2day... still liked it... din go 2 sch 2day... i think i'm cursed with the devil's luck you know... i'm pretty sure i set an alarm for 7... but my alarm totally didn't ring once... not that i heard... and i missed a very impt maths tutorial today... i'm so dead... my friend said i'm digging my own grave... well i think i already have one leg in it... i'm so screwed... i got to buck up... i can't fail... or else i'm screwed... ppl think i'm missing or not doing stuff on purpose... well hey i'm trying here... or maybe i just have to try harder... more discipline... more self-control... i wanna do more than pass i wanna do well... don't want to let my father down... these sch fees are putting lots of pressure on him... and i've gotta try to find a proper part-time job soon... so i can lighten my father's load... but no luck at it so far... haiZz... well... i've got to go do my project le... dang... i don't think i'll get any proper sleep this week...

2006-05-29T01:23:00.000+08:00

28th may... sun...

back... been kinda busy with sch recently... projects, assignments and tests... coming soon le... then its holiday... yipee!!! not really in the mood to blog... but had a few things to say after reading my friend's blog... well.. 1 of my friends mentioned tat when a person has a blog that person should be ready to show it.. if that person doesn't want to show then wats the point of having 1... ya.. true.. so it kinda got me thinking... so wad shld i do wif my blog... i'm blogging.. but i'm afraid to show it to anyone... cuz i'm afraid... in my blog i say lots of stuff... stuff on how i really feel... i'm afraid of losing ppl if they see this stuff... especially her... havn't had a chat wif her for quite some time le... hope i can find some... well... i've been thinking maybe i'm not ready yet... for a relationship... at least tats how i feel... i want to juz wait... instead of finding... i wanna juz go wif the flow... cuz my friend once said this "if its meant to be, it will be... if its not, no matter how hard you try it will still be not..." well i kinda understand now... and maybe its the best for me right... but tat doesn't mean i will stop fighting... i might have fate now... but maybe i'm juz lacking destiny... but when it comes i'll be sure to fight hard... recently... i'm kinda having an identity crisis again... i'm starting to lose myself again... i don't know who i am... cuz 1 minute i'm like a bad guy and all... the other i'm like Mr. nice guy and stuff... well... same thing time will tell... no use thinking abt it cuz i've more impt stuff to do at the moment... like sch stuffs.... my friends and teachers always said the only thing keeping from accomplishing things is my laziness... thats my biggest enemy.. and probably my toughest 1... anyways gtg le... hav to go to sch at 8 to do my assignment tmr...

(watched 'Forest Gump' recently liked this quote...)

*~ LiFe... ~*

LiFe iS LiKe a bOx oF cHoCoLaTeS...
yOu'Ll nEvEr wHaTcHa gOnNa gEt...

2006-05-15T01:14:00.000+08:00

hahaZ... havn't post for a very long time le... well... been lazy recently... heheZ... i've been coming home late then slping late... chasing naruto all over again recently... hahaZ... but i took time to look at alot of others people's blog recently... and i notice something... compared to theirs... my blog is really very simple... all my friend's blog are like so cool... where as mine is so simple... haiZz... well... but thats i how i like things things right to be simple... i also realised some stuff... my thoughts and way of thinking are just really very simple minded at times compare to my friend's... they really think about alot of stuff and really complicated one's too sometimes... so deep that i can't comprehend what they are saying... i don't know if i haved said this before... but sometimes... i don't know why people blog... some people say blogging is for self-pleasure then do they post up their blog's URL to show people... maybe its kinda people's different way of expressing themselves... but i do find it good at least i get to know more about my friends through some of their blog... well... as for i'm not sure why i started blogging... well... i've not told anyone my URL... and i doubt anyone has read my blog given not many people know that i have a blog... got sick 2 days ago... still am now... sore throat, headache, coughing... haiZz... still have school tmr... wonder if i should get a LOA... =P... oh ya... which reminds me... went out with jx they all on Vesak day...too bad min hao couldn't come(he was sick)... we went to queenways with eng chuan as he wanted to buy a pair of new shoes... so he could wear to school and play Bball with... hahaZ... we kinda spent about 3 or was it 4 hours finding his ideal pair of shoes... but at the end of the day... still couldn't find it... so he settled for something less then what he had hoped for... then we went to marina south to had steamboat... wEeEe... wished i was enthuastic that day... well... i fell sick that day actually... 2 hours before we were supposed to meet... but i took some panadol and a short nap then still went out with them... i know i was sick... and should be resting... but it was me who suggested the outing... and kinda felt guilty if i canceled it or didn't turn up... so sickly still went out... and the usually talkative me.. was quiet the whole day... didn't reallt talk much... and at marina south didn't really eat much too... had no appetite to eat... and the same for this few days... hahaZ... anyways good for me... cause i wanted to go on a diet... but dunno why been feeling kinda moody recently... sometimes i get angry at people for no reason...(but i don't say it out...) i juz don't uderstand why... maybe i am short tempered???
havn't really had a good chat with her recently... i've been busy with school... heard from her that she had settled the problems le... hahaZ... good for them... wonder what kind of problems was it??? maybe i'll ask next time...
a reason why i don't want to post my blog is i'm afraid she would see it... although i never mention her name here... but i'm still afraid that she would still find out eventually from reading...
well... got to go le... still have school tomorrow...

*~ who's matters??? ~*

'you',' yours', 'he', 'she', 'him', 'her', 'his', 'hers', 'they', 'them', 'theirs'...
none of them matters...
what matters is what 'I' think and 'MY' thoughts...
cause this story is 'MINE'...
all that matters is 'ME'...
they same goes for everyone else...

Live Your Own Story... Your Own Dreams... Not Others...

2006-05-05T00:48:00.000+08:00

4th may...

i wanted to post on monday... but while i was typing halfway... my comp hang... i feel so damned... u know sometimes... i feel so left out of everythin...maybe cuz i've been focusing too much on my work... well... i've kinda quitted... now i'm wanna redeem myself... i wanna get any friends i used to have back... i went back to union alot has changed the people... there are new people... and some that i used to know... i feel like i dunno them anymore... everyone is changing... izzit because of union?
plus i've havn't play basketball with jx they for a very long time... i have alot of catching up to do with them... hahaZ... now that i'm free i gonna get my life back... but i still wanna find a part-time job cause i think my family needs it... so if anyone has job to intro show me... although i doubt anyone is gonna read my blog... (none of my friends know about this blog)... but i learnt alot of stuff from work... i've learnt to look at stuff from different angle now... everyone has problems... different problems... and different ways of handling them... someone alot of people juz think i'm crapping at times... no one believes me when having problems... cuz i'm always laughing... and they say i'm never serious... well... i can get serious but i still laugh cause its my way of handling stress... to laugh it out... they do say "laughter is the best medicine" thats why i'm always laughing... give me any problem no matter how serious i'm still able to smile... but i do think os solutions to solve... okay... i might look like a happy-go-lucky guy... but thats juz on the surface... my friends always ask me "how come a happy-go-lucky guy like you has so much white hair???" well... who ever said a happy-go-lucky guy won't have any problems... i've been missing lessons and sch due to my work... all my friends always think i'm working for money to buy stuff... and when i tell them that its to support myself and my family... they think i'm crapping... i know i crap sometimes... but isn't it obvious when i'm telling the truth... well... if u wanna think that i'm crapping... fine... but i will still hold my stand... cuz i wanna be a responsible person... i wanna lessen my father's burden... but i guess i hav to get a lower paying job... but i will nvr forget the things i learnt at K box... it was valuable... i think better get to sleep...
still have lessons at 8 tmr... from 2day will be the start of my 'Road To Redemption'... i will redeem myself...

*~熟得生巧 ~* (recently really like this song by JJ...)

醒着像睡着躺着像思考
晨昏颠倒
敢情太单调竟然是烦恼
如何是好
也许来阵风雨花谢满地
黯然神伤的困扰
可以刺激那颗
浑浑噩噩失去了烈火
激情的大脑吹风就感冒
淋雨就发烧有爱就好
我不再逃空虚日子
这一路都在熬
也许爱情就是熟能生巧
你绝对想不到我多渴望
让生活染上一些颜料
是红橙黄或蓝靛紫都好
一圈一圈的围绕
终于能自在的坦承说爱你
火一点就燃烧
怎么刺激那颗

2006-04-09T03:59:00.000+08:00

8th april...

wow... long time nvr blog le... got a new haircut ... hahaZ... recently busy with alot of stuff at lot 1... i'm kinda slowly getting the hang of things at lot 1 le... i'm catching up with the rest of them le... hopefully... hahaZ... been runner for the past few days.... so i can stay in the bar as jason was the bartender... heheZ... i learnt quite a few stuff from him though... tmr will be back to ah boy le... haiZz... i also heard the at the bar needs ppl... so... hmm... maybe i can get a transfer to be a bartender... heheZ... i cldn't stop thinking of her somehow... hopefully can hav a chat wif her ba... heard she got her hp stolen... wondering how to contact her... she's using her father's hp for the moment... if i ever catch the 2 guys tat stole her phone i'm sure i'll beat them up... or at least try... =P my heard alot of stuff regarding relationships recently from jason... i wondered if i'll ever forget her and move on... i kinda talk alot abt girls but i found i nvr take the action or initiative to do them... my frenz tell me to go get her... but under wat circumstances or wat do i hav to go for it??? i'm juz a nobody... anyways goin to 'sao mu' later early in the morning... so i think i better go get some rest ba...

*~ lEtInG g0??? ~*

hOw cAn i lEt gO oF sOmEtHiNg i cAn'T oR nEvEr pIcKeD uP...

2006-04-02T04:18:00.000+08:00

1st april... sat...

whew... today was really busy man... alot of ppl kept checking in... but was kinda fun... dunno why... guess i'm a weird person... today i got my tips for cck side... $6.10... quite okay i guess... hahaZ... nothing really much to update... but at lot 1 i met tis girl... bi shi... she reminded me of sabrina... somehow... i dunno why... maybe the face? i'm not really sure... but anyways... finally... goin to play basketball later... hahaZ... so long nvr play le... kinda miss the old days... nothing to worry bout... juz pass each day as it comes... oh ya.. got my results... but somehow i'm not suprised to fail my 'networking essentials'... the lecturer was a biatch... she failed me for a impt practical test juz cuz the mouse cldn't function properly... i bet she failed me for class participation too... she's a total biatch... hope when i retake nxt year won't see her face... or else i tink i'm doomed to fail... argh... fcuk dun wanna tink abt it le... i tink i end here nothing much to update le ba....

*~ FeEliNg cOmpLeTe??? ~*

iF u wAnNa fInD a gIrLfRiEnD fOr tHe sAkE oF mAkInG yOuRsElF fEeL cOmPleTe...
yOu'Re bEtTeR oF wItHoUt oNe...
cUz iT dOeSn'T wOrK tHaT wAy...

2006-03-30T02:54:00.000+08:00

29 march... wed...

whew... tis month's ending soon le... heheZ... nxt week getting pay!!! lolx... soon i'll be out of poverty... well... ytd work was ok wasn't really too busy... could still handle stuff... so i was off today... din really do much was kinda slping half the day actually... =p the day before i had a chat wif adeline... she also happened to be off today... and guess wad she suggested??? go K box to sing... geeZ... as if working dere alone isn't enough... then she said will call me today... so i was like slping... then at abt 9 i was abt to go down to buy dinner... then she called... so i made my way down to clementi K box... blah blah blah... xiao xian happened to be very hungry... and she called me to buy somethin for her... so i bought it... went to clementi... sing sing sing... then later i went down to 7-11 wif adeline... then i happened to come across a shelf full of cough syrup... then i was reminded of her... i was wondering if she had bought it... but it was too late to call her now... so maybe i'll sms her tmr ba... well... according to lot 1's promotion... hahaZ.... tmr is Ladies night... so hopefully there will be lots of girls... =p well... think i will end here ba... today's lot 1's Sean last day... hmm... he was kinda almost the only fren i had at lot 1... haiZz... tmr is gonna be a boring day...

(came across this old song by jay zhou which kinda has alot of meaning to me)...

*~ 开不了口 ~*

才离开没多久就开始担心今天的你过得好不好
整个画面是你想你想的睡不着
嘴嘟嘟那可爱的模样还有在你身上香香的味道
我的快乐是你想你想的都会笑
没有你在我有多难熬(没有你在我有多难熬多烦恼)
没有你烦我有多烦恼(没有你烦我有多烦恼多难熬)
穿过云层我试着努力向你奔跑
爱才送到你却已在别人怀抱
就是开不了口让她知道

我一定会呵护着你也逗你笑

你对我有多重要我后悔没让你知道
安静的听你撒娇看你睡着一直到老
就是开不了口让她知道
就是那么简单几句我办不到
整颗心悬在半空我只能够远远看着
这些我都做得到但那个人已经不是我

2006-03-27T02:29:00.000+08:00

sunday... 26 march... (i wanted post this on sunday... but somehow it ended up in the drafts... so i'm posting it now... =P )

so... i got drunk ytd... hahaZ... well... a few days ago super terrence said i wld be transfering to working at lot 1 tmr... so everyone got wind of the news.... and juz happened tat ytd was server terrence's birthday... and they bought a bottle of vodka... and so we celebrated his birthday... and me leaving clementi K box... and wad did they do??? well we playing finger guessing game.. loser drinks... and everyone was out to get server terrence and me... but i think i got most of it... i was so drunk at the end of everythin... every1 was either half drunk or drunk like me... lolx... well... it was kinda my 1st time drunk... half the time i know wad was happening... but din know wad i was doing.... i was crapping and crapping... thank god i din say anythin abt jun jie or say out any secrets... and tis morning it came... the hangover... dang... my head still hurts now... haiZz... so i'm starting work at lot 1 Kbox tmr... i tink i will be seeing alot of familiar faces... hopefully i wont get into any trouble... i had a chat hearty chat wif her today... i rmb jesz telling me to tell her tat 'i love her' then say i will wait for her... but i juz cldn't... cuz i'm afraid of losing everythin... and plus it will feel like i'm putting pressure on her... and she's happy wif her bf now... from wad i know... all can do is wait... i think i stop here my head isn't really quite thinking right... well... i handed in my punch card to super terrence le.. goin to get my pay soon... yeah!!! hahaZ...

monday... 25 march....

haiZz.... my first day at cck K box... ppl there is okay... juz a little to serious sometimes... but the rumors are rite... the ppl there are really efficient... i dunno if i can keep up with them... well... luckily for me today super eason was there and jason too... so hahaZ... its was quite fun and relaxing... somehow where ever there is jason and super eason... the day wld be hilarious... lolx... but tmr hav to serious le... tmr is super patrick... i heard his really strict... i hav a bad feeling abt tmr somehow... haiZz... pray tat it juz pass by normally... oh ya... i sms her today.. to specially remind her to buy the cough syrup... cuz she's been coughing alot recently.... but she always forget to buy it... so i told her tat i wld start acting like a grandpa and nag her to buy the cough syrup and also remind her to drink it everyday... hahaZ... =P... well... i'm tired... so i think i end here le...

*~ wAiTiNg fOr a pErSoN... ~*

yOu sTaRt wItH fUlL oF dRiVe...
tHe eNd sEeMs BEAuTiFuL...
bUt tHe pRoCeSs tOrTuRiNg...

2006-03-23T02:32:00.000+08:00

yoZ... back to blog... wanted to blog ytd but server got prob.... so couldn't no i hav to update 3 days of stuff... haiZz... okay... where should i start... lets start from monday...

monday... 20 march...
well... back to work after a day of relaxing... jun jie was made captain for tat day... i was put in charge of zone 1... blah blah blah... cant think of anythin to mention of...but after work tat day... i got hungry... and i went to 'Sunshine place' to get sommthin to eat... and i saw somethin.. the constructioning was done!!! and my favourite stall back!! i immediately bought my favourite 'orh jian'/oyster omelette... mmh... it was delicious man... havn't had it for 1 month plus le.... yum... >_<

tues... 21 march...
tat day was CRAP!!! oaky... super terence was off... and came super eason... he's the most funny super i've met... he was like crapping and joking all day... he and another senior bartender jason played catching... CATCHING!!! imagine 2 grown men... in their twenties... one a supervisor, the other a senior bartender... 2 big size adults... running ard k box... lolx... the scenario was so funny... hahaZ... everyone was laughin their socks off... but i was also pissed off tat day... by tat fcuker jun jie... i dun even wanna talk abt it... i was so pissed tat i kinda ignored xiao xian when treid to talk to me... "SORRY xiao xian"... but later manged to had a chat with her to tell her why i was so pissed... anyways... nothin really impt le... juz one thing fcuk you jun jie...

wed... today... 22 march...
i was made captain today... but to me it kinda din really matter... cuz i still did every other thing a server has to do and a little more... so i was still kinda pissed off a jun jie.. tat fcuker... he was also pissed at me... but for wat??? i'm the one who shlb be angry... so you're angry at me for being angry at you... wtf reason is tat.. if u think i'm wrong tell me... people always say i like to act blur... but truthfully... i am blur... i'm not kidding... i admit when i'm in the wrong... but sometimes i really dunno where i'm wrong u have to tell me i'm not telepathic... i cant read minds... if i'm wrong tell me... but i still felt i had to apologise to him... although i din know why... he accept my apology... so hopefully we r okay now... we still hav to work with each other for quite a long time... so hopefully there will be no tension betwwen us... but somehow i still he think he holds a grudge against me... seriously... i dun mind doing something for u... but pls respect me i'm still a human... i've feeling and a pride too... dang... tmr's bryant's birthday and i havnt bought his present yet.... and my mom's bdae is coming too... argh....

*~ mY dReAm ~*

mY dReAm iS t0 bE a dIrEcToR...
wHeRe i wIlL bE abLe t0 tUrN dReAms iNt0 rEaLiTy...
mAkInG dReAmS iNt0 rEaLiTy iS mY dReAm...
dReAmS~*

2006-03-20T00:39:00.000+08:00

i'm bored... sianZz... can someone tell me what to do... well... i'm bored then i remembered my blog... so thought i would do some posting... lets see... i didn't post yesterday... i was at my mom's place... no comp there... no posting...

lets start from fri...(cuz i juz realised din write much about the day & was crapping half my life) super terrence gave us a very super long meeting... its lasted for liked 2 hours... and the room was so cold that day... i was like practically freezing in there... recently there been rumors about super terrence and adeline... super terrence came to know about it... so... he thought he cleared things up... he spent a very long time explaining everthing... then i think about 1 hour later... he finally finished... and offically began the meeting... he talked about changes that will soon happen & alot of stuff, can't quite rmb what they where, then he talked about having a briefing and having every1 to make it to work 15 mins before work offically starts for a briefing... then gonna impose some kind of funny penalty... they dicussed about the penalty... and finally they decide in paying money for being late... the moment i heard it... i told myself "i was so going to get poorer"... me Mr.latecomer barely making it on time... now i had to go to work earlier...haiZz... i'm so dead...

then sat...
hmm... well... the new rule had start so i woke up an extra 15 mins tat day... went to work... blah blah blah... then there was the briefing... it kinda felt more like a picnic actually... hahaZ... everyone brought food in and was munching and munching... not forgetting me too... the briefing had not really interesting... then... super terrence mentioned tat i was going to be transferred to morning shift... i was like "huh!"... okay then nothin much... i was assigned to ne runner for that day... (note: runner- delivers water to the customer) i was kinda okay... cuz i wanted to be runner recently... dunno why... then before i had no water to deliver so i thought i'd help them out by helping them cut fang and stuff... that they had started to split zone... and every1 was to be in charge of their own zone... so i help jun jie to cut one of the rooms in his zone... then i had to help do something else... he came back... then started runting at me... dunno really rmb wat he said but i dun rmb it being anythin nice... then sever terrence came out and said "you are the runner all you need to do is deliver the water..."... being helpful sure doesn't pay... so i spent my whole day... sitting in the bar talking to kent & waiting for water to deliver...somehow i felt open... i started talking to him about my personal stuff... then he asked me if i was interested in doing filming... i was like so HAPPY! 'filming' my dream... i immediatly agreed... but had no time to talk about the details... soon we were bombarded with orders... so busy busy busy... then towards the closing i had talk with super terrence... cuz i wanted to asked him about the transfering of me to morning shift i was quite relunctant (dunno why)... i gave reasons which i dun feel like mentioning here... he asked me to call him back tmr... so anyways... the day ended & i took the transport... but 2day i was going to my mum's place... i went there showered had a talk wif my bro... then went to slp...

okay sun...
i woke up quite early somehow.. but slacked in front of the TV till 1... and today... heez... havn't had a chat wif her in a very long time... so after freshening up and having lunch... i smsed her... she din reply... until ard 6... she replied with an sms saying that she had juz woked up... so i called her hp as she was on her way home from her bf house...she said she had juz spent the night there... she noticed tat i called her using my hp... and told me tat me using hp is very ex and said she will call me back later as she is going to reach home and also as i had free incoming... so waited for her call... then an hour later she called but i was on my way to eat with my dad le... but i still had a chat with her... then i hung up and promised to call back later... after having dinner... my cousin called and asked me out to play pool... so i went home to get ready... then on my way to lot 1... then i juz rmb tat i hav forgotten to call her back... =p i called her immediately... and she said the same thing and called me back... so instead of playing pool... i chatted with her for like an hour... i barely played a game... and i still had to pay... geeZ... we went & sat down for a drink.. i kinda felt rude for ignoring them cuzi was kinda my idea to come out... so i told her that i would call her back later again... the moment i reached home i smsed her... she hasn't replied yet... guess she's slping le ba....i called super terrence he said iwas to go to work tmr NIGHT SHIFT! lolx... i was delighted... but i'm still not sure why...so i came home nothing to do... started blogging... lazy to blog le... i think i end here... go find something else to do...

*~ LiVe YoUr dReAmS... ~*

If You Have A Dream Don' t Wake Up From It..
.Instead Live It...
Turn It Into Reality...

2006-03-18T06:25:00.000+08:00

...

2006-03-18T05:09:00.000+08:00

hmm... well this kinda my first time blogging... dun really know what to write... although i highly doubt any1 will read this... but i will still try my best to blog...

lets see... today... 17 march... Fri...
i woke up went to woke as usual nothing much... well i'm working at clementi K box now... its been like 2 weeks le ba... actually i don't think any1 knows yet ba... but i actually started working full-time again was to get my mind of some stuff ba... the first time i started working was to get my mind of stuff too... back was because a girl i had really liked alot rejected me... so i started working to myself busy and tired so i wouldn't have time to think about it... but work was not really what i thought it would be... cause when i was working there were times time i had nothing to do... i would just stand there and start thinking about her... although i couldn't stop thinking about her... but somehow work seems to help me straighten out my thoughts... and be4 i start working i led i repeating life... i went to school... sch ended... went home... or either play basketball then go home... all my days juz passed liked that... but somehow working... or rather some1 i met at work... i met this girl at work... she's chinese but she's currently living in malaysia...well... i was with her for a few days... she told me lots of stuff... we also talked about lots of stuff... she was a very open girl in terms of thinking... that was the first time i seriously talked and shared to anyone or rather a girl for the first time in my life... then later she left... she had to return to malaysia... but that few stayed with me forever... not soon after i stopped working... i took time to do alot of stuff i would never have done... slowly i changed... bit by bit... until today i believe she's 1 of the main reason for me changing.... another person that started the changed was the girl that rejected me... after she rejected me it was the first time i really looked at myself in the mirror... and reflected on my actions... i'm really sure if i've changed for the better yet... but i can say i've changed... whether if its for the but its for my friends to decide i guess... its been almost a year le... and i'm facing another problem... and so i started working again hopefully to get my mind off this stuff... i love this girl i met again after 4 years... we were in the same class for a year... than later i transfered class... and juz 6 months ago i met her again through friendster... she and i had both changed... i started to sms her every week... then it became evrey 3 days... and soon it became almost everyday... then i started calling her once a week adn sms every other day... we would talk for hours... unknowingly i fell in love her... but i never got the confidence to tell her... until a month ago... Valentine's Day was coming so i figured i'm going tell her... but a few days before Valentine's Day i called to asked her out... And she told me she was going out wif a guy... they started a week ago... and then she started telling me all about him... i regretted not having the courage to tell her sooner... i was at a lost and din know what to do... i have never liked a girl this much since... she's the 2nd girl that made me change again... a few days later i was offered this job at K box... so as to help clear my head.. i took up this job... during work i had the time to clear my head... and i've decided to wait for her... i'm not going to snatch her... i will wait... but due to work... i havn't spoken to her for a very long time le... but this sunday i will i'm off... so... anyways i think better end le...

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